Meet the women of the book, “Make Your Mess Your Message”.
This week, I speak with Kirsten Duncan (Chapter 46).
In the span of 4 months, Kirsten’s life was dramatically altered leading her to the realization that life can fall apart, but with grit, faith, and resiliency, it can be rebuilt; Kirsten shares her story and the stories of others on her podcast, An Unexpected Launch.
Kirsten’s 3 tools to help move forward after an unplanned divorce:
- “And that is one of the biggest tips that I would give somebody is create new family traditions. I tried in the beginning to recreate some of our family of five traditions, and those felt quite flat. And so find new new ways to interact with, with your children.”
- “Most importantly, practice forgiveness, grace and self-compassion, and it’s not so necessarily so much for other people. It is for yourself. I found that the more grace that I was able to extend to my ex-husband the better I felt about going through my own process, it just helped me feel better. I think it was so beneficial for our children.”
- “And, when you first find yourself divorced, and this is not the case for every person who gets divorced, um, you know, some folks it’s a mutual divorce, but for those who it’s not mutual, and you are grieving the loss of your marriage, you can find yourself incredibly lonely. And at first that was the hardest thing for me to navigate was my loneliness. But I started to look at that as an opportunity when I was alone to find out those things that I enjoy doing, which was something that I alluded to earlier. And it allowed me to drop those parts of myself that were really serving me that were no longer beneficial and allowed me to uncover some new parts of my personality that maybe I had kept hidden. Um, hadn’t explored. And so embracing your aloneness and learning to love being by yourself and doing things by yourself really is helpful along that healing journey.”