The 50/50 Friendship Flow – CHALLENGE!!!

November 14, 2019

If you know me personally, this past year you may have witnessed my 50 dates with 50 women who have had an impact on my life.  I chose to meet with 50 women during my 50th year of life, to sit down one on one for the purpose of sharing with each woman what they mean to me.  Some women that I met with I have known for years while others were more recent relationships.

What began as my personal project has become, “The 50/50 Friendship Flow” is now becoming a book and the story of my 50 dates is headed for its first round of edits with the publisher at the end of the month with an estimated publishing date of 6-8 months away.  In the meantime, as we approach a new year, I encourage you to join me in the challenge and to experience the magic of sitting down one on one with someone for the sole purpose of sharing with them what they mean to you and what you have learned from them. 

Make your list of people you will meet with over the following year.  Stick to that list.  Commit to that list.  You’ll find as you do this, you’ll want to add others into your list – resist this temptation for this project.  Stick to your original list; otherwise, you run the risk of losing the list and the focus of the project, the intention piece. 

The 50/50 Friendship Flow can take any form that you would like.  I challenge you to go with 50, because it is a significant commitment.  It requires time, planning, and thought.  It is not easy.  It forces you to take time out of your busy life to focus on what is often neglected but holds such importance, our human connections.  It requires a commitment which becomes part of your life for a year.  But if 50 is too much, 10 is fine, even 5 lives touched is much better than none.  Or be bold and try 52, one meeting a week.  Whatever you choose in numbers, please commit fully and document your journey.  You can document your journey through social media or privately through a journal. I guarantee your life will become fuller because of this experience and the ripple effect of sitting down one on one to share your feeling with another person will reap unexpected rewards.  For the person you sit down with, the gift of being seen and heard is remarkable, and for you to recognize the importance of people in your life will keep you living in a world filled with gratitude and grace.   I chose to meet with 50 women in 50 different restaurants, but you can meet anywhere.  It does not need to cost anything other than the gift of time, which has unmeasurable value.

Enjoy your journey! Please message me and let me know about your commitment to the 50/50 Friendship Flow, your experience, your dates, and what you have learned from it!  I’m excited to hear from you.

The 50/50 Friendship Flow:

  • Set a date.  One-on-One.
  • Take time to set your intention and think about what you want to share with your friend.   Let go of your own ego. 
  • Sit with your friend and practice listening first.
  • Share your admiration, observations, and ask questions.  Let your 50/50 Friendship Flow friend know that you see her (or him).  Create a dialogue around learning about what your friend brings to your life
  • and finally, write it down, take a photo, keep a journal, capture that moment.

Kicking off the challenge for the new year is my friend, Tanya Murdock Lewis, owner and therapist at Zen Counseling Northwest. Tanya has committed to meeting with 20 people who have influenced her, made a difference in her life, and have inspired her.  Unlike me, rather than meet with 50 girlfriends, amongst Tanya’s list of dates are both men and women who have impacted her life.  She recently met with her first date, a former professor who inspired her to create a life that she loves.  Follow her journey at or

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